We all know self-care is important, but sometimes (often) life gets in the way and we’re just too busy. Sound familiar? I, as I’m sure many of you are, am guilty of putting everyone else’s needs, and often wants as well, in front of my own. I find I am just too busy for self-care. But that’s exactly when it becomes all the more important, and indeed essential, to make time for yourself.
So, what exactly is self-care? In its simplest form, self-care is a catch-all term for the things we need to do to look after ourselves, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually as well. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. You’ll be looking after yourself to a point, but self-care is about taking yourself off auto-pilot and being in the moment with it. However busy my day is, I can find time to shower. Self-care might be extending that to having a bath with bubbles and a book. We usually eat regularly, but taking time to eat something nourishing and not just quick could elevate it to self-care levels. Sitting down to eat is also something of a treat during the week!
Since I started working from home, I’ve made a really conscious effort to get out at lunchtime and go for a walk, and it makes such a noticeable difference. My productivity in the afternoon is better, and I really do feel ‘lighter.’ When I’ve walked in the past, I would always multitask. Cos I’m so busy, and I wore it like a badge of honour. I’d dictate a shopping list, or listen to an audiobook. Phone a friend or book the kids’ dentist appointments. Wasn’t I clever! Now, I’m able just to walk, and one of the greatest skills I think I’ve ever learned is to be able to empty my head. Nothing. I’m in the moment. It took a long time, but it was worth every ounce of effort. And guess what? My whole household does not collapse when I take some time out! I advocate that the very days you need to take half an hour out are the ones where you don’t think you have the time.
If you really, genuinely, don’t have half an hour, start with less than that. Even 5 or 10 minutes sitting down to eat your lunch is a good start. But no music, no social media, no just flicking through a magazine. You have to switch off. Taste your food, chew it. Enjoy it.
The other issue I overcame, aside from being too busy to take time out for myself, was that I didn’t feel I deserved it. How could I justify taking time for me when I could be spending that time with my children, or doing something for them? Well guess what? I’m a better mum when I have taken some me-time. If I go for a run at the weekend, I can tick off the physical care piece: I’ve done some cardio. The endorphins help my mood, and I clear my mind, don’t think of all the things I still have to do, and mindfulness helps me from a spiritual perspective too. If I go in the morning, my family is only just starting to get moving so I’m back before they even miss me. Nobody is hard done by and everyone feels the benefit.
I’m not Super Woman by any means, but I have learned to fit some self-care into my routine. I’m writing this post because I’ve started slacking and I can feel it, so it’s a reminder to myself as much as anything that when I think there’s no time for me, that’s precisely when I need it most. I can always fit something in. Tonight, it’s writing, and that is my ultimate self-care. I’ve listed some more general self-care tips for when you’re too busy for it.
Get some exercise
You hardly need me to tell you this one. Find the exercise that works for you. I mix it up. My exercise time is usually first thing in the morning and I love the buzz I get that carries me through the day. I have a cross-trainer at home, which makes it really easy to get some cardio in, however limited the time slot. When I’m not feeling that, I’ll do a kettlebell workout, Zumba class or some yoga – there are lots of options online but Yoga With Adriene is my go-to, and if I can do that in the garden, even better!
Eat well
This starts with a healthy breakfast. It’s just as easy to grab some fruit as it is to grab a piece of toast. If you can make time, sit and eat. Granola, yogurt, fruit, eggs – whatever you fancy that’s on the ‘good’ list and will support you with a solid nutritional start to the day. I am far less likely to reach for the biscuit tin mid-morning when I’ve had a good breakfast and I’m sure I’m not alone.
Catch up with friends
Having positive relationships with friends is so important. Over the last year and a half, we’ve all to realise that, and that digital contact is only ok to a point. Getting out and going for a coffee and a chat with a friend is a really good way to recharge, and knowing there’s someone there who’s pleased to see you is a huge comfort in itself. Pick up your phone to make the date, but have the coffee face to face.
Sleep well
Easier said than done perhaps, and admittedly the one I struggle with most. I know I should be getting 7+ hours a night, and that actually my body knows when it’s not had 8, but still I struggle to get to bed at a sensible time. I think it’s down to these last couple of hours of the day being the only time I truly get to myself. That’s precious. I’m working on it.
Switch off (your phone!)
We’re addicted to our phones. If you were honest with yourself about your phone usage, you’d probably easily find the spare half hour you need to some self-care. Doom-scrolling is not self-care, and probably has the opposite effect, so be sure to take some screen-free time every day. Use that time to do something you really enjoy doing. I write. Or read. Or draw. Whatever it is that you really love to do, do it now. Go and spend 15 minutes doing something that you don’t need or have to do, but something you want to do, just for the sake of it. Just a quarter of an hour, go on!
The Ro Show 
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